A little background on this next part: I've been picking up and putting down the study of Psionics for some years now, and at the moment I'm in the "pick up" stage of the cycle. Normally I've gone for a sort of scattergun approach, throwing together various disparate techniques pretty much at random, with equally disparate results. This time I'm trying to be a shade more scientific and focusing specifically on the RetroPsychokinesis Project, where one aims to retroactively affect a string of binary data generated beforehand, but not examined. There are visual feedback programmes in order to give the mind something to chew on.
My initial decision was that I would do these experiments every day, several times a day, and see what happens. So far, I'm getting nowhere fast. I get as many misses as hits-- more, even. So yesterday I decided to ask the guides about it. Here's the conversation.
Bold is them, plain is me.
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Okay. 'Bout this psi thing...
Yes, yes, yes! It is for you. [Really enthusiastic.]
Um. Okay. Coz I don't think I'm doing very well.
You will.
And it works, right? It's for real?
Why do you ask us? We are of the same 'real'.
You're right, I suppose.
This is our very flesh, you see. We are beings of [rather fuzzy concept which I have transcribed as "The mind-light."]
Oh. Okay.
Understand that this will come to you in time. Be at peace for now. You struggle still with small things, with the little fire. Let us not lay a great branch upon so small a flame. [In this sentence, the word "us" refers not just to the guides but to me as well.]
We will feed your knowing a piece at a time. All we know is for you to grasp at your leisure. Do not fear knowing. Understand as a child does. One does not give a child a great book and demand that she reads it at once. One writes each letter, patiently, telling her the sound of each.
So must you teach yourself. Do not berate yourself that you cannot read a great book all at once. Allow time to take each letter one by one.
And it is very well that you have taken up the study of the Will-on-the-stone. [This is the term they use to describe psionics, near as I can render it.]
Through this small thing you will come to a greater understanding of the Guides.
And it is strength. You cannot increase your strength too much.
Let us speak to you now of the will-on-the-stone.
It is true that others have come to this knowing. Understand that you have two special gifts: one, your innate strength, and two: your refusal to accept without proof. You belive nothing, ultimately. You insist upon proof, proof, proof...
(Passage excized for embarrassing mushyness)
This is no small labour you have taken up. Yet neither must it be, of necessity, great. All it must be is constant, not to be put aside often and taken up infrequently. That way lies only disappointment, frustration, and ultimately-- despair.
But I'm not very good at it.
And after two days!
I've been trying to do stuff like this all my life.
No. You have not. It is true that at certain times you have taken up this task. And how swiftly have you laid it aside! A day; two days; you become discouraged, your heart, as they say, goes out of the task. You have promised yourself a week. Let us make a small request: Two weeks. We predict great things for you, if you but persevere.
This skill is needful. It will assist in healing the flesh and spirit of your fellows. It will lend you a greater strength, which you sorely need.
But I keep feeling like it's not real. It's like I have a picture of a world where all this stuff-- you guys, reiki, psi-- it's all real, and another where this is all crazyness, where none of it happens, it's all bunk, and I'm a sad delusional fool clinging to a lie just to feel special. And It's like I snap between seeing one world and seeing the other.
We know. Let us ask one thing of you: Try, for only a few days, to banish that empty world from your mind. If we fail you, that world will still remain. You could resign from your labours and move on to other things better fitted for that world. But it will never come to that. Be at peace in this. For only a short while, give yourself to the belief that you can do these things. You must only try. It is all within your grasp! Only put out your hand, only reach a little further, and the first of the prizes is yours.
Persist in the little game of the line. [This refers to one of the excercizes on the RPKP site.]
It is charming and will help you. Then see.
Be at peace.
More soon...
